Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps...

Perhaps if I was more skilled at serving.  Perhaps if I was more interesting.  Perhaps if I was a better fighter.  Perhaps if I was more pleasing in the furs.  Perhaps if I was less outspoken.  Perhaps.

Perhaps being me is not enough.  Perhaps trying my best is insufficient.  Perhaps I am different to other kajiri.  Perhaps this life is a mistake.  Perhaps.

Perhaps there is someone out there who can love me.  Perhaps there is someone out there who would be proud of me.  Perhaps I might feel as if I am not alone in this world.  Perhaps.